After several anxious days with no delivery, I received a message from Wilx making it clear that I wouldn't see my millet anytime soon. It was obvious that I needed to be more persuasive:

From: TProphet <dialtone69 at hotmail dot com>

To: <user@host.com>

Date: 5-10-02

Subject: hyenas ripping your flesh



You seriously underestimate me!! do you honestly believe that I 

would accept payment in SPADES!! I wouldn't accept SPADES any more 

than I would accept BATS or COCKROACHES or these GODDAMNED TOADS 

that keep FALLING from the SKY!! I expect my payment in CASH!! and 

not RUBLES or BHAT or EAST GERMAN MARKS, I expect good old American 

SILVER CERTIFICATES or at the very least DOLLARS. genuine ones, not 

the kind you PRINT in your BASEMENT!! JESUS FUCK, EVERYWHERE THERE 

ARE TOADS, WHERE THE HELL DID THESE BASTARDS COME FROM!!!! 



it appears the only RESEARCH you are doing involves COCONUT PALMS and 

possibly HEROIN or at least an entire blotter of ACID, because you're 

truly delusional if you don't think I'll unleash a PACK OF RAGING HYENAS 

on you to RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB if I don't receive my millet!! AND my 

cash!! NOT spades, not--



GODDAMNIT, FUCKING TOADS EVERYWHERE!! FILTHY DISGUSTING SLIMY SMELLY TOADS 

WITH THE FACES OF ELVIS AND JIM MAXEY GRINNING STUPIDLY AT ME AND FARTING!!!!!!



NOT spades, NOT Bulgarian Levs, NOT promises of Future Amazing Opportunities, 

I WANT MY MILLET AND MY CASH!! you and SPRINT both STRINGING ME ALONG like 

i'm some sort of FOOL with a portfolio full of ENRON stock and TWA BONDS!! 

when I make an INVESTMENT i expect it to PRODUCE!!! granted I didn't expect 

the most recent INVESTMENT i made to result in a HAILSTORM of TOADS, but at 

least SOMETHING is fucking being PRODUCED here!!! meanwhile, you and ANUBIS 

are SIPPING COCONUT MILK or EACH OTHER'S JIZZ while I'M FACING A SERIOUS 

SHORTAGE OF MILLET!! and you have the NERVE to send me mail WONDERING HOW IT'S 

GOING when I'M ON THE VERGE of becoming seriously UNBALANCED!! if you aren't 

CAREFUL, i'll tell the GERMANS what you're saying about them!! THEY KNOW WHERE 

YOU ARE AND THEY'LL HELP ME GET MY MILLET or at least BREAK both of your 

FIBULAS!!!



>Dear LORD!

>

>That is the WORST thing I have ever seen! Damn Anubis and his slant 

>eyed pyrimid scam MONEY LAUNDERERS!  Those roaches are IMPORTANT to 

>my RESEARCH. As for your millet, you must understand that when my 

>STUDIES are CONCLUDED, your investment will be returned IN SPADES.

>I am cutting off all relations with binkyboink, as he has brought 

>TOO MANY GODDAMN TURKS into this operation, and the Macedonians are 

>getting antsy. How is XBS handling his recent millet shortage?

>Tell XBS I came accross a RECKLESS BASTARDS CD and thought of his 

>WILD EXCESSES AND FLAGRANT ABUSE OF THE LAW!!! MINICONII? NOW YOU'RE 

>TALKIN!! Start planning now, the summer cons are coming up and 

>certain friends of mine dont want to go. But Ill bet I could 

>convince them to go to something a little more... PRIVATE. I wish 

>MEGA WAS HERE so I could sick him on those CRAZY BASTARDS LIKE A 

>LEECH!! Speaking of, I guess MEGA has been telling stories of my 

>power to ol binky, thats why he wanted to talk to me. I am not sure 

>if they were true or not, but I suggest ending all business with 

>him.  As for those wireless bastards..   I bashed a few UGLY KRAUT 

>HEADS and now things are uhh.. working for the most part on my end. 

>In fact, they gave me extra minutes.

>

>-W

-> Chapter 4: A Startling Revelation